Comments on: Premature ejaculation & Very Traditional Views?

By: gypsyveg

gypsyveg — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Maybe she can try some of these, though I’m not sure she can pull it of without his cooperation.

The "stop and start" method:

This technique involves sexual stimulation until the man recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. The stimulation is then removed for about thirty seconds and then may be resumed. The sequence is repeated until ejaculation is desired, the final time allowing the stimulation to continue until ejaculation occurs.

The "squeeze" method:

This technique involves sexual stimulation until the man recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans meets the shaft) for several seconds, withholding further sexual stimulation for about 30 seconds, and then resuming stimulation. The sequence may be repeated by the person or couple until ejaculation is desired, the final time allowing the stimulation to continue until ejaculation occurs.

By: wildflower c

wildflower c — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

The only thing I can think of is that she probably has an idea of when he’s getting excited.. I’ve caused the guy to "slip out" suddenly (by pretend accident) when I didn’t want him to so soon.. I’ve heard of such radical approaches as reaching down and pinching the head of it.. LOL>. but haven’t tried it and bet all men out there are wincing at the thought…

By: shortstuff

shortstuff — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

They need to see a marriage counselor.

By: shyanne

shyanne — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

from the sounds of it (that she has tried or suggested all those methods) he is just being selfish and doesn’t care about her pleasure.
i can’t believe i’m saying this, but if he doesn’t want to try, she should just pleasure herself (with a toy, if she likes) and just let him go to sleep.
the strange thing to me is..that she share so much intimate information with you (?)

By: mafiosu

mafiosu — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Talk is cheap and so far that sounds like all your BIL has offered in the situation to date. Prude or not he needs to hear the truth from your sister about how all of this is making her feel. Marriage counseling with a licensed sex therapist might be helpful. Even if hubby refuses to go your sister should go for her own peace of mind. There is nothing wrong with being open with your spouse about sexual needs and if her husband feels uncomfortable discussing it then he has a major problem-not your sister. The bottom line may be that they are just not sexually compatible. Then your sis has to decide if that is something she can learn to live with or not. Sometimes people can have the deepest of loves, but it doesn’t mean they can live a life together. They just aren’t the same thing like people think they are.

By: IveBeenThere

IveBeenThere — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Is this really your problem to solve? Maybe you should tell your sister to ask advice on such a personal matter from her doctor. Can you imagine the embarrassment this guys going through knowing that his sister-in-law know about what goes on in his bedroom.
Geez girl. Give these people some privacy.

By: glittereyedg

glittereyedg — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

I understand sis is in agony over this and any woman who’s experienced this can totally see why. But unfortunately if he’s not doing anything to fix this then what’s the point. It takes two and he’s not willing to help then she can kiss it good bye.

By: Jeff C

Jeff C — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

This isn’t an uncommon situation. My wife and I deal with similar issues. While the start and stop method does seem to work, it can only go so far. For example, our problem is that when we get going it seems that every time that my wife gets close is when I have to stop. This kills all of the momentum for my wife. After a few cycles of this frustration, my wife tells me to just keep going, in the hope that she can beat me to it. This doesn’t always work, which just leads to further frustration. Foreplay can be helpful, but if when I enjoy it as much as my wife, it doesn’t do much. When I don’t enjoy it, I am not as into it as I should be. While this answer doesn’t solve the problem, hopefully it is helpful to know that they aren’t the only ones with this problem.